My Most Precious Thing.

It was just the cutting of edges; the permanent sensation, or perhaps the way she made me feel everytime I entered through the door or peek inside the window. It was; maybe, the continuation of this feeling I thought it was long gone; the spark that I thought it was already blown between us. Just by the feeling of going blind; I still could feel the scent which never fade away from my nostrils; her skin that still remained invisibly wrapped around my touch, her smile; the killer pronunciation boiling in my veins.

It may sound slow; it may sound a bit out of order, but the only thing that I've ever desired when the days around her were still on process; was the just feeling of her lips. Those two conservative petals I've never dared to touch when they were near my existence. I've never knew how though; it may just be because of the strong feeling of unconscious love that I was feeling everytime I could feel her pace being at my side.

Now every single day I've been telling myself that throughout life; I've never regretted any action I've done, and yet the voice deep inside told me how regretful I was for the undone; which was, not running inside a climate of desperation and asking her to stay; maybe I was with too much pride, maybe I was with too much of a gentleman posture. Or maybe, even maybe; I'd have thought that she'd come back once I told her I had nothing else than a feeling, but just a friendship; you know?

I actually never noticed how stupid; or how non-illustrated I was for not noticing on time.

I have to wake up tired; tired of not being her the one that could take company of myself when watching movies where I'd like to hear her melodic laugh; for not being her the one that could drink with me when nobody could; for not being her the one who could stay hours past midnight just talking inside awkward conversations, and have the pleasure to listen to her voice every single day, every single afternoon, every single night.

Tired for just seeing her at days; and others not; tired of having to fulfill that contemplative feeling in other people; in other girls that could not ever compare to the power that she could gave me by just pulling her nailing look burning my essence.

Tired of knowing, that I love her; but yet I can't deceive the feeling of breaking all the other stuff we had because of that; of ruining the friendship we forever had. It was something difficult, but at the same time, It was something I wanted to let out of my throat without any resentment or pain.

There it was where I counted the days; I counted the occassions, I counted the several signs that only leaded me to the same reason; over, and over, and over again. It was when I decided to walk through the blocks that kept me blinded from everything, when I decided to finally look closely and find myself in something else than just the usual.

Somehow I was just waiting for the moment to hit me; for the moment to, perhaps, blow me away or even slap me in the face like situations in life usually do. But this time I knew; I had to discover the moment by my own self; and try to get the best out of it.

I kept walking; kept thinking, kept imagining the right moment when everything would be whether deteriorated or just make a brighter appareance. Some minutes passed before I could take the glance of that foggy window that she dared to clean every single moment she could.

I kept watching over the window; until the hit of a blueish napkin hit the glass and it started to travel in multiple circles. I could tell it was her, doing what she always did; making a full circle in the middle of the window, keeping it away from the slight blindness that ocurred because of the rain, and glancing towards the street with her deep, light eyes and a smile over her face. In this way; I asked myself whether by knowing her actual actions, I was just being a dumbfolded romantic or a total creeper. I could not know more.

But ahead my direction was the presence I wanted to look at. While she cleared the window and watched towards the direction I was watching; I could see that she smiled even wider than she usually did. I didn't even know if it was some kind of sign; but she always did that when I was around. Anyway; I smiled as well. It was like if I was trying to tell her if I could name this the day.

Pushing the door now in front of me; I could hear the ringing of the coming in, while my nostrils itselfs devoured the sweet smell of cinnamon, bread, and coffee. It was where she worked, it was where I visited everyday; it was where I just decided to put a step ahead and watch the result.

"Hey" I called; seeing her behind the counter while she put a cinnamon roll inside a transparent, glossy box.

"Here you go sir; that would be 2 dollars." She said; with that music of a voice up in Heaven gave her. I saw her picking up the two dollars and some gray haired, well dressed guy thanked her and left the store. "Hey!" She answered; walking towards me, only a wood, long bar was separating us.

"How's it going, I guess fine; as always." I said, while she smiled and nodded.

"Everything fine; you know it already." She said; looking at me. Somehow, I did not know what to say; which opportunity to take next into my condescending words. I just watched her image; her pale skin, her eyes, her smile; just, everything about it, everything that made me all nervous and shaky inside.

"Are you alright?" She asked me. I couldn't help but gulp. I put the palm of my hand over the polished counter, looking down and closing my eyes. I wanted to breathe heavily, I wanted to take a deep sigh; yet at the same time I didn't want anything of this to change. I looked up again; seeing how her hair fell graciously over her face; framing her almost perfectly. If not totally.

I heard her medium steps walking to one side to the other; until her presence fully reached me, standing in front of me and looking to my pathetic image standing on the other side.

"Andrew?" She recalled; she always called me Andrew when she was serious, or when she was upset at me. My nerves wanted to blew off; my scared switch had turned on.

"I...just..." I wanted to take the opportunity to just; threw all over myself with my feelings; since I didn't know how to start or even react. "Could we; talk like ... in private or something?" I followed; looking to my surroundings.

"Sure" She said, her tone of worriedness made me feel guilty. She took my hand and tossed me over a room that was full of coffee pots, boxes, slices of bread in several bags and recipients full of cinnamon, sugar; and all of that stuff. Closing and locking the door, she looked at me for the third time today. "Now, tell me; What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong; I just..." I said; I could hear my voice breaking, my heart pumping faster with each word. "I wanted to tell you something since so long ago. I don't know how to start, I actually wish I was having a dialogue like I do in Saturday Night Live so I could express myself properly..."

"Just spill it" She told me; I tried to look at her as much as I could.

"I've just been wondering lately. The many days we've spent together since we first met. I've been thinking; all the moments we've lived, and everything that we've said." I gulped. "And, do you remember when I told you that I had nothing else than a feeling; but just a friendship? That day when we were just randomly talking about, friends to become into a girlfriend, boyfriend relationship and all."

"Uhm. Yeah." She said, I looked at her hands; one was constantly moving while the other rested on her shoulder, trying to get a grip over all of this. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Well I've; you know, I just had this day when thoughts were all I had to do. I sat in my bed; and just started reminiscing. Having constant flashbacks, welcoming all the memories that could be at my reach. And I remember that certain quote so easily; when I told you I just felt a sincere friendship, which I do; but within time I realized the feeling was magnifying. I realized, that I...that, everytime I looked at you; I looked at you differently; I looked at you with such emotion, I looked at you like I've never looked at anyone before. This repetitive loop that has not let me sleep." I took a deep sigh, as I got close to her; her eyes got wide by the words I was articulating; "And it is like; like if I wanted to do something else everytime you grab my hand, everytime I see your eyes, everytime I smell that perfume of fruits you wear; or everytime I watch you smile by just cleaning a window inside a bakery."

Some way or the other; she started to laugh. I looked at her in disbelief; while at the same time I laughed by just hearing her. Perhaps she thought that everything I said was a joke; and why not, sometimes she didn't know when I was joking and when I was real enough to pull out a classical speech.

"And I, don't know." I said. "The only thing that I do know, is that I..." Suddenly I got closer to her; putting my hand against the blank wall and feeling inside my stomach a fuzzy sensation inside. "I love you. Perhaps I did not notice earlier; but it is better late than never."

She looked at me in shock; while I just couldn't help but to get even closer to her. It was unevitable to pass my arm around her waist, and to almost glue her presence against mine. It was like if that was all I needed to do; what I had to do.

"Andy, what are you-" Her words I didn't let her finish; my lips were just eager to catch hers and finally taste what it was the flavor of a powerful Heaven in Earth; by just cupping her cheek against my hand; and trying as much as I could to not break the beautiful sensation my whole mind could perceive.

When I thought I was going to gasp for air; I just hugged her tightly against my chest; pulling my lips to breathe while I rested my head over her shoulder. I could think she was just laying there; motionless. But instead, she put her hand against my back, rubbing it up and down.

"Are you sure about everything you said and did?" She whispered in my ear; while I just laughed in a low volume.

"Yes." I said "You do know I don't regret what I've said and done, not ever." I pulled my head up and looked at her. "And if it's about you; less I regret."

It was one of those moments where just triumph enters inside your head and suddenly some song of glory takes the background of the scene invisibly. While she watched me smile and I watched her smile, just telling me that somehow she was waiting for the moment to come, and she was waiting to tell me those three words;

"I Love You." She finally said, hugging me tightly; being able to taste her lips all over again.

It is funny how a story can neatly begin or sometimes begins all messed up; and how magically ends with a golden ribbon adorned on the top of it. I do believe there's no bad endings. Unless you really want to have a miserable one. But Anyway.

She was and is my most precious thing. And I'm happy it ended this way.